Editorial
Crooked COP

At the opening of the last Conference of the Parties, the president of Azerbaijan criticised the West for its hypocrisy over fossil fuels. There was, the conference host said, “double standards, a habit to lecture other countries”. Oil and gas were “a gift of the God”. The media was the problem, as were state-controlled non-profits.

“Countries should not be blamed for having them and should not be blamed for bringing these resources to the market because the market needs them,” Ilham Aliyev told the United Nation’s key climate conference, referring to oil and gas. “The people need them.”

A year earlier, the conference was hosted by the United Arab Emirates. The president of that COP, Sultan Ahmed Al Jaber, was caught before the conference saying there was “no science” to back the transition away from fossil fuels. He dismissed renewable energy, “unless you want to take the world back into caves”.

Surely, this emboldened Australia’s bid to host next year’s COP. In a rare moment of wit, a little like Spike Milligan describing Woy Woy, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese said: “I can’t think of anywhere better than Adelaide to host that event.”

On Wednesday, the Department of Climate Change, Energy, the Environment and Water was still hopeful. Presumably hope is all that sustains the people there. “If our bid is successful,” a press release said, “COP31 would amplify the voices, perspectives and solutions of the enduring custodians of our lands and oceans – Australia’s First Nations people and Pacific communities – for the benefit of the region and the world.”

Australia’s pitch has always sheltered in the vulnerability of Pacific nations. Their drowning is the argument for our hosting. As the department said on Wednesday: “The impacts of climate change are already affecting our region. That is why we’re committed to hosting a COP in genuine partnership with the Pacific.”

It is a special kind of exploitation, the galling paternalism of the delinquent father. Australia understands the calamity, the bid seems to say, because it is causing the calamity. The Indigenous knowledge it describes is the same knowledge being destroyed in the Murujuga petroglyphs. The Pacific leaders who have called Australia’s approval of new coalmines immoral are being used to dress up Australia’s leadership on climate change.

None of this offends the Conference of the Parties. The event is almost attracted to duplicity. Negotiations are conducted with the nub of an eraser. Each year, the meeting weakens its language and lets the world get away with more.

A decision on the hosting was expected this week but was delayed. The world’s major climate conference does not appreciate urgency. It’s the kind of irony that gives Australia a chance.

This article was first published in the print edition of The Saturday Paper on June 28, 2025 as "Crooked COP".

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